Hi there,

I have stated before that I do not label myself as a lesbian/straight/bisexual. I have only ever dated males, but have always found myself interested in females from a young age. Granted, I haven’t found a female that I am interesting enough to actually act upon those feelings.

So, I guess to answer your question, no. I am not a “Gold Star Lesbian”.

-Lesbain Questions

Hello there,

First, I want you to be more excited about going on a date with someone you actually like! That is very exciting!

Second, I want you to breathe! It sounds like you are really stressed out and that you might be over thinking some of these aspects.

When it comes to dating, liking someone and becoming physically/emotionally/sexually attracted to others I believe that anxiety plays a massive part in figuring out how you want to handle each individual situation. I always believe that having a little bit of anxiety before, during and/or after a date can help me know that I like the person more than I had thought beforehand. Granted, if I am anxious the entire time and that anxiousness turns into me being uncomfortable, then I know that I am not interested. Also, if there is no anxiety at all, that lets me know that I am not excited enough about anything to potentially happen. Although, if you are stressed out over everything or focusing on one or a few things, then you might want to talk to them in order to help relieve some of these overactive nerves you are having.

I do want to acknowledge the fact that you mention how you are not 100% comfortable with your own sexuality. With this, I would suggest looking more into this before trying to place yourself into a sexual identification box. I am a firm believer in the idea that you can not love or show someone that you love them without understanding and knowing how to love yourself (both sexually and not sexually). It is okay that you might not be completely comfortable with your sexuality just yet. Everyone discovers and later becomes comfortable with their own sexuality at different times from everyone else in the world. There is no need to rush into it.

I will say, if you like the girl you went on a date with, but were uncomfortable or just didn’t like the actual act of kissing her, I would look more into that. I would suggest thinking about the entire date again. Almost like rewind, and hit play (from the beginning). See where all the anxiety started, what made it tightened at certain times and what was going on; before, during, and after.

I do want to say that just because you had a negative reaction to your first kiss doesn’t mean you are or aren’t a lesbian. It just means that you are discovering more and more about yourself, learning about what you do and don’t like. Remember that every opportunity is a learning opportunity, either about yourself, someone else, or the world around you.

I really do hope this has helped you. Definitely let me know if you need any more advice or just want to chit chat more about this down the road.

-Lesbian-Questions

Hello there,
I can definitely give you my thoughts, opinions and personal experiences on this topic. With that, usually, some advice comes up. :)

I will admit that this does sound like a conundrum. I will start with a small personal story;

About two weeks before my senior year of college started I found myself being attracted to a woman who was new to my work. People always expected and assumed that I was straight, but honestly, I believe that sexuality is on a spectrum. This woman was the first women who would make me feel; nervous, excited, clumsy, sweaty and wanting to be around her all at the same time. The same emotional and physical feelings I would get when I was attracted to a man. Nothing really came about between this woman and me, but going through the emotional roller coaster helped me to realize a lot about myself and thought me that I can’t put myself or identify myself in one identifying box.

Also, I have recently met a woman who considered herself to be straight her entire life but ended up getting married to a woman. She mentioned to me that when she met Jax (her wife) it was almost an immediate attraction, she knew that she didn’t want to be with anyone else.

I am telling you these two different stories because it really can go in either way. Unfortunately, when it comes to individuals sexual identity, I am a strong believer (even before my major epiphany about myself) in the idea that no one is ever fully anything. So trying to give someone else a label, especially a label as harsh and as direct as “straight” could be the one thing that is clouding your judgment.

If you like, another way to look at it is;
(granted, I don’t know how old you are), but you probably have a long life ahead of you. Take chances, experience life for all it is worth, allow yourself to make mistakes and take those opportunities that might worry you a little bit.

*This is not me promoting or telling you/anyone to try or experience any illegal activities.

I hope this has been able to help you in some way? I feel like I just rambled for some time. Definitely let me know if you would like me to further expand on this topic and go further in-depth.

Good luck with everything with your friend!
-Lesbian-Questions

Hello there,
Unfortunitly when it comes to eating a girl out, I might not be the perfect person to ask (not something I have ever done before). So,  hold on tight, I will try to give my best advice with this.

When it comes to eating a girl out, I would think that it is nothing like giving a blow job. To me, it seems like it would be extremely hard to try and practice? I am unaware of anything around the house or a product  for sale that would simulate a vagina… unless you are interested in buying one of those silicone vaginas from a sex toy website?

To me, the only real accurate practice one can get is from simply just doing the real activity. If you are interested in eating out the girl you are talking with, hopefully you have talked with her about how you don’t have a lot of experience. If you have not talked with her about that, or feel that you are uncomfortable letting her know this information, just remember that everyone starts off doing everything with little to no experience.

If you are really worried about your performance, I would recommend watching some girl on girl porn and focus specifically on how one girl is going down on another. Also, as simple and as old as this method is, I highly recommend masturbation. It will not only tell you what and where you like to be touched, but it will give you an idea of what and where you should touch the girl you are talking to. Also, start off fingering the girl you are talking to. If you are not confident in your eating out abilities, finger her to get a better understanding of where she likes to be touched, than try it out with your tongue.

I hope this has helped,
Lesbian-Love

Hi!

I am a firm believer that labels are obsolete when it comes to human identification. If you prefer to present yourself as androgynous, that is completely your choice. The same can be said for your sexual identification, if you are more attracted to females, then that is your choice. It doesn’t not matter the label that is given to that attraction or gender specific presenting person. All in all, you do not need anyone’s approval of how you can or cannot label yourself. It all matters how you identify yourself and what you want to put out into the world.

I hope this has helped some,
Lesbian-Questions

Hello,

It sounds like this girl you are talking to isn’t ready to communicate about her feelings about other girls. The worst thing someone could do is force someone to talk about their sexuality when they are not ready. I personally would recommend holding off any further conversations with this girl about your or her sexuality. If you are seriously interested in them, you want them to feel comfortable around you (generally all of the time). Find other things to talk about that don’t have to deal with either of your sexualities. Find an activity that you both enjoy, maybe a concert you both can go to? Be a friend to her and show her that you are there for here and not only focused about being with her.

I hope this has helped you,
-Lesbian-Questions